Hello, I am Fofer the Gopher! (He looks like a weird gopher with purple fur). Erm -- key? What key, I don't know any ... uh.... thing about any (AUGGGH!!) key... Oh heavens, it's been so long I can't recall! Oh, nothing, I just... I'm in here for UNCONTROLLABLY HOARDING KEYS ON THE LEFT SIDE OF MY BED, EVEN OTHER PEOPLE'S KEYS, IT DOESN'T MATTER! There are so few keys in here... each day I wait for more to add to my collection!! Greetings, I am Zoovac!
I am trapped in here, same as you.
(He's pretty nondescript for a clown on a stick. Almost TOO ordinary...) I have no idea where the key to the cell is. I've been here for the past day or so. I haven't been charged with any crime! I can't fathom why I've been illegally and unethically detained! But that Gopher though, he won't talk about what he's in here for.
(Talking to yourself doesn't seem like a good idea right now). (You're a pretty handsome fella if you do say so yourself!) (You've got to find the key to get out of here!) (You can't remember how long you've been here, or anything before you woke up just now.) (You can't remember anything, much less why you're in here.) (The Key doesn't respond). (Wait, there's a key here! Hidden under the sheet! YOU WIN THE GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) Thanks for playing! (The Key doesn't respond). (The Key doesn't respond). (The Key doesn't respond).